I have a question: Do Big Apple newspapers go through this yearly hoop-de-do of asking what's the "Best of New York City," as do we here in The Big Boi?
I wouldn't have to ask if I'd ever lived in New York City, but I never did. Came close once. Years ago, a friend invited me there to collaborate on an original musical production. Probably would have ended up one of those jillion miles off-Broadway things, I'm sure, and it wasn't at all clear whether I was supposed to do the music or the lyrics or just sweep up afterwards. But I didn't care. At the time, I would have moved to New York had I been invited to collaborate on a clogged drain. At the time, New York City seemed to me to be the best place a person of my temperament and tastes--at the time--could possibly be.
For reasons we'll discuss at another time, it didn't pan out. I didn't go to New York, not ever. But no doubt there's a New Yorker or two among all the new people moving here, and hopefully, someone can tell me if they do this "Best of ..." thing back there in the town that never sleeps.
I suspect not. I suspect NYC newspapers feel assured that they have as fine a theater, restaurants, art, shopping, books, book writers, anchorpersons, bartenders, tattoo parlors, sports, margaritas, martinis, cigar stores, poets, ballet, symphonies, jazz bands, rock bands, blues bands, mariachi bands, bricks of cheese, jugs of wine, loaves of bread, you name it ... as can be found anyplace in not only this country, but most of the others, too. And with that sort of confidence, why waste paper and ink obsessively patting their town on the head like it's a good little boy.
Now, I would never suggest that we here in Boise (including out-lying communities, so as this Meridianite might honestly include himself in the discussion) should follow NYC's lead on this or any other matter. Oh my, no. Boise is one thing, and New York (I've been told) is something else altogether. The only reason I dare compare our town to theirs is to raise the possibility that either 1) Boise is suffering from such a painful lack of self esteem (what we used to call an "inferiority complex" back before Donahue) that even the newspapers feel the need for annual special editions chock-full of positive re-enforcement (what we used to call "bragging") ...
... OR, 2) New York City is so cock-sure of itself, it doesn't need to go asking its newspaper readers what's "the best." Like, if you don't already know, you can't afford it anyway.
I assume there's a bit of truth in both propositions, which leads me to ask: Is there something endemic to Boise (or, in general, any other midsized, chest-thumping, provincial center of modest achievement which is always trying to prove it's more than it really is) that compels us to continually take unobjective popularity polls to learn such things as which establishment's taco is better than all the others', or where to find the bestest weatherman in all the town?
And don't think I bring this up merely to have a little fun at the expense of my friends and benefactors at the Boise Weekly. No sir, this matter may well reach to the very core of our community's emotional health, therefore it must be explored.
Besides, I also bring it up to have a little fun at the expense of the Statesman, too. I believe their "Best of Boise" issue comes out in September.
Yet, even should we expose the very roots of our communal compulsion to identify all the "bests" in Boiseburg, a larger question remains, and now that the results are out (see BW ... this here issue) I can feel your longing for a solution. I sense thousands of plaintive, confused voices crying out from isolated cul-de-sacs and lonely sidewalk cafes. You want--no, need--to know: What if everyone else voted for "Tom's Tacos," and I voted for "Harry's Tacos?" What if I went for Scott Dorval, and everyone else went the Rick Lantz route? Does this mean I don't belong? Does it mean I am a Dorval peg in a Lantz hole? Does it mean I should move to another city where my sensibilities are more in tune with the indigenous peoples?
I can answer that! I may not know beans about New York City, but I know what to tell folks who no longer feel in sync with the crowd: YES, YOU SHOULD MOVE! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE! GET THE HELL OUT AND NEVER COME BACK! AND TAKE A FEW OF YOUR NEIGHBORS WITH YOU!
Hey, don't take it personally. I'm sure you're all very nice people. I'm sorry I didn't get to know each and every one of you.
And on your way out of town, please don't go thinking this has anything to do with the way you voted in the "Best of Boise." It doesn't. Truth is, great tacos don't matter much more than horrible tacos. Same with weathermen.
It's just that ... well ... there are those who feel the "Best of Boise" happened way back before you all came.
Furthermore, we ... er, they ... believe it probably won't get any better as long as you're all here.
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